You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
