I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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