i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
