Are we in a gay sports bar?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
