this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
