he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
