I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
