When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
