For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize