All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
