every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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