I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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