My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize