just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
