I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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