why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
