Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
