I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My life is pants optional.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
