: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
vagina is talking i cant
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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