Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize