Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
