Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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