im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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