Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize