i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
