When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize