I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
