he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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