ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize