OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
