C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
