Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
