Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
