My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize