if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
