did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
