I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
