just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize