he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
