bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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