We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
