**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize