This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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