Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
