I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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