it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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