Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
