Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
