Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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