this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
handjob tips. give me some.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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