I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
