I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We are all done wearing pants today
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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