margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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