did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
