just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
