i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
only if we run a train.
done.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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