I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
did i just pee glitter
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
