I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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