On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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