Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
