as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
