I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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