Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
