I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize