We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
