She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
