I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am spending my child support on dildos
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
