I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
