I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
